Caf Break
by Kgirl1
Summary: Complete and utter fluff. Space family hasn't gotten to do anything lighthearted lately, so this is literally just an opportunity for the crew to relax and roast each other.


**A/N: I just... wanted them to be happy. Seriously, there's not much of a plot here, but I had a lot of fun writing the dialogue. I hope you like it.**

* * *

The _Ghost_ crew was taking a long-deserved break in the galley, gathered together and sipping caf. Zeb was in the wooden chair, Ezra and Sabine in the breakfast nook, and Kanan at the counter, brewing one last mug for Hera.

The twi'lek breezed in without so much as a hello and cast a pointed glance at her partner. "Kanan, for the ten thousandth time, can you _please_ stop leaving your hair in the fresher? It's everywhere."

"For the ten thousandth time, I haven't cut my hair in months, so that's not mine," he replied, without looking up from the machine. Hera moved next to him and rested her hip against the counter.

"It's brown, and it's long, and it's clogging the shower drain," she said.

"Well, I also haven't showered in months, so now I'm innocent on both counts," he said dryly. Zeb snickered.

"Very funny." Hera rolled her eyes. "Would you just go clean it up?"

"Clean it up? It's not my hair!"

"Well, it's certainly not blue, black or purple!"

"Why don't you just clean it?" he gestured at her.

"Because I am the only person on this ship who doesn't produce some form of drain-clogging hair, and therefore, shouldn't have to deal with it," she folded her arms.

"Wait," Sabine cut in, "Twi'leks don't have hair _anywhere?"_

Hera shook her head.

"So you never have to shave your legs."

"Nope."

"Or your armpits."

"Or… anything in between."

Hera's cheeks tinged a darker green. "Well, that's probably more information than the entire crew needed to know, but no."

"Already knew that," Kanan muttered. Zeb laughed out loud and slapped a high five with him. Hera swiveled a glare at both of them, but before she could speak, Ezra piped in.

"Wait, Sabine, you shave your legs?"

"Of course I shave my legs; we live in a patriarchal society where women are evaluated by their outward appearance," Sabine said.

"Okay, yes or no would have been fine," Ezra muttered.

"Well, somebody has to educate you. Didn't your mom ever shave her legs?" Sabine asked, then archly took a sip of her caf. "Oh wait."

Ezra's jaw dropped, and even Zeb winced. "Too soon," Ezra said.

Sabine pulled a sympathetic face. "Is it though?"

"As someone whose parents are also dead, yes," Zeb said.

"Agreed," Hera said. "Sabine, be nice."

Sabine looked to Kanan. "Are you gonna jump on the dead parent bandwagon too?"

Kanan shrugged. "I never met my parents. Does that count?"

Everyone fell silent as the levity in the room immediately died.

"Geez, Kanan, don't hold back," Sabine muttered.

"Why was that, anyways?" Ezra asked. "Like, why separate Jedi younglings from their parents?"

"It was so that we didn't form unnecessary attachments," Kanan said.

"Oh, yeah, you did a great job with that one," Sabine said dryly, casting a weighted look between him and Hera.

"Hey, I said _unnecessary_ attachments," Kanan said, giving Hera a roguish grin.

"Thanks, dear," she said, playfully blowing him a kiss. Kanan pretended to catch it and tuck it into his pocket; Ezra pretended to gag.

"Oh, come on, Ezra, you were making the same lothkitten eyes at Sabine when you first joined," Zeb said. Hera covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh.

"What?! Was not!" Ezra said. His cheeks were bright red.

"Oh, you so were," Sabine grinned.

"Wha—that is _not_ true! Hera?" Ezra looked to the captain for backup. Hera had kept her hand over her mouth, covering a grin.

"I, um, don't recall," she said, holding back a laugh.

"Oh, _I_ recall," Zeb said wickedly. "You followed her around like a lost lothcat."

"Every time I painted something, you turned into the galaxy's greatest an art critic," Sabine added, still grinning. "'Great impressionistic piece, Sabine. I love the clear-cut lines,'" she mocked. Kanan and Hera both laughed, and while the art joke was lost on Zeb, he chuckled anyway.

"Whatever," Ezra rolled his eyes. "I was a better art critic than Lando."

"Oh, you were just jealous of him," Sabine said. Kanan's eyes widened, and behind Hera's back, he frantically waved his hands at Sabine. His pleas to change the subject were too late—Hera had already raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you mean Lando Calrissian? The sleemo smooth-talker who sold me as a slave and almost stole Chopper?" She said archly. "That's always a fun story."

Kanan slumped in his chair. "For the hundredth time, I said I was sorry—"

"And for the _thousandth_ time, Chopper was never yours to bet," she folded her arms.

"Hey, I didn't bet him, Zeb did!"

"I had a Pure Sabacc! How was I supposed to know he had an Idiot's Array?"

"Well, he certainly ended up with one, didn't he?" Hera put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, very clever," Kanan rolled his eyes.

"Kanan, when are you going to teach me to play sabacc?" Ezra asked.

The Jedi snorted. "When you're thirty."

"What? Come on! I think I'd be pretty good," Ezra said.

"You?" Sabine scoffed. "You couldn't hold a sabacc face to save your life."

"What?" Ezra turned to the others for support. "I could, right guys?"

Zeb just shook his head, and Kanan avoided his eyes.

"Hera?" Ezra asked.

The twi'lek bit her lip. "You have a… very expressive face," she said.

"In a good way!" Sabine chimed in.

"Gee, thanks," Ezra rolled his eyes and turned to Kanan. "Is that why you haven't taught me yet?"

Kanan shrugged. "Sure."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Sabine said, sipping her caf. "Hera taught me how to play when I was fourteen."

Kanan whipped his head toward Hera. "You _what?"_

"In my defense, it was a lot harder to break through to her," Hera said, then smirked. "Also in my defense, it totally worked."

Sabine nodded sheepishly, and Zeb chuckled.

Kanan turned to Zeb. "You knew about this?"

"'Course I knew," Zeb said. "I lent her the card deck."

"Wait, so you thought I was easy to break through to?" Ezra cut in.

Everyone immediately nodded.

"What?! Was not!"

"You kidding? Between the food, the Jedi, and the pretty girl, you were an open book from the get-go," Zeb said.

"Wait, what does that make you and me?" Hera raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry. The mother figure was there too," Zeb said. "But let's be honest, I wasn't exactly a pro on the pros and cons list."

"I didn't think I was that much of an open book," Ezra said, crossing his arms. "And for the record, Zeb, you were totally a con."

"Just the way I like it," the lasat said, settling back with his fingers laced behind his neck. "Ship's getting a little too crowded for my taste."

"Don't look at me," Kanan said, and jerked a thumb at Hera. "This one collects lost causes for a living."

"Hey, none of you are lost causes," Hera said, and then paused. "Although if I'd known there was going to be so much hair in the fresher, I probably would have made a few cuts."

There was a collective groan.

"Was that a pun?" Ezra asked Sabine, who shrugged.

"Again with the hair in the fresher." Kanan leaned in toward Ezra and Sabine conspiratorially. "You know, she's been complaining to me about that since day one."

"You're an exceptionally hairy person," Hera said.

"Do you just mean his facial hair, Hera, or…" Ezra blinked innocently, and Sabine started snickering.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hera said, as a dark flush crept up her cheeks.

"Personally, I think the hair problem started when Zeb joined the crew," Kanan said, maybe a little bit to deflect the attention from him and Hera.

"No way, mate. I'll take full credit for the smell, but the hair is all you," Zeb said.

"What about Sabine? I'm surprised she has any hair left," Ezra said. Sabine rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, buzz cut Bridger."

"Hey!" Ezra exclaimed, as Zeb sniggered.

"What? It's true," Sabine said.

"Buzz cut Bridger," Zeb laughed. "Has a nice ring to it."

"It does not!"

"Sorry, Ezra," Sabine shrugged. "You don't choose your nicknames, they choose you."

"Right, like how Hera calls me 'I'd Jed-die for you,'" Kanan said.

Hera snorted. "First of all, that's a dumb nickname, and second, I've never once called you that."

"Right, well, I can't repeat the other things you usually call me," he said.

Hera's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Do you mean when we're in bed or when I'm mad at you?"

He gave her a roguish grin. "What's the difference?"

Hera's cheeks flushed a verdant green, and she grabbed the kitchen towel and swatted him with it. "Kanan Jarrus!"

Ezra and Sabine were laughing raucously, and even Zeb couldn't hold back a chuckle.

Hera gave her partner a sheepish look. "We're awful today; we never talk about this stuff in front of them," she said.

"It's your fault," Kanan shrugged. "You're the one who kissed me in front of everyone. They probably didn't even know we were together before that."

"Yes we did," Zeb, Ezra and Sabine all said simultaneously. Kanan and Hera exchanged an affectionate look.

"You two are lucky you got here after they were finally on the same page about it," Zeb said to Ezra and Sabine. "If you think this refresher argument is bad, you should have seen them in the old days."

"We weren't _that_ bad," Hera rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"Oh, yes you were," Zeb said. "I built a drinking game around how many times you threatened to blast Kanan out the airlock."

Kanan cocked his head. "I never heard about this drinking game. Who'd you play it with?"

"Myself," Zeb shrugged, raising his mug to his lips. "It's my favorite drinking game to this day."

Kanan furrowed his brow. "We've played drinking games together."

Zeb sipped his caf. "And?"

"Personally, my _least_ favorite drinking games were the ones you two played together," Hera cut in. "Or should I call it "identify the species by the color of their vomit" night?"

"Ugh, I throw up _one time—"_

"Like you've _never_ had too much to drink!"

Hera folded her arms. "I've never thrown up."

"That's not what I said, miss twi'leki opera star," Kanan replied. Zeb burst out laughing.

Hera's expression flattened, and she pursed her lips. "That never happened."

"Actually, it did, and you just don't remember it," Kanan said. He stroked his chin. "What was that one song you liked? Something about finding true love—"

"Stop."

"You guys should have seen her," Kanan said to Ezra and Sabine. "Performance of a lifetime."

"Pretty good voice," Zeb said. "You could have made it big, Hera."

"I can see it now on all the Coruscanti marquees," Kanan spread his hands theatrically. _"Hera Syndulla: opera star."_

Hera gave Kanan a glare that could have frozen Mustafar.

Sabine, to Hera's relief, cut in. "Wait, Hera's never gotten sick from drinking?"

Relieved by the subject change, Hera shook her head.

"Hera can hold a _shocking_ amount of liquor for someone her size," Zeb grumbled.

"I'm twi'lek," Hera shrugged at Sabine. "We know how to have a good time."

"Yeah you do—"

She shot Kanan a glare. "Stop." She turned back to Ezra and Sabine, jerking a thumb at Zeb and Kanan. "Besides, as _these_ two have learned, it's not about how much you can drink, it's about knowing your limits. There's a lesson there for both of you." She leveled her gaze at them.

"Oh, I know," Sabine said.

"What, did Hera teach you how to drink when you were fourteen, too?" Kanan folded his arms.

"No!" Hera objected.

"I was fifteen," Sabine said.

"Sabine!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Sabine assured them. When Hera's attention shifted, she turned to Ezra and mouthed _"Sixteen."_ He grinned and gave her a high five.

"Besides, Kanan, it's not like you never did things with me that we didn't tell Hera about," Sabine said, her tone deliberately light.

"Um, I never did anything with you that we didn't tell Hera about," Kanan said, making a slashing motion with his hand. _"Right, Sabine?"_

"Right," Sabine said, her tone innocent but grin wicked. "That speeder wrecked itself."

Kanan collapsed his face in his hands. "Son of a banth—"

"I _knew_ that was you!" Hera turned on Kanan, her eyes glowing. "I knew that story about getting mugged was total bantha spit!"

"Sabine, I'm never taking you to do anything fun again, ever," Kanan folded his arms.

"Good. The last trip we went on was darksaber training, and we all know how fun that was," she said.

"Oh yeah, when you almost killed Kanan," Ezra said. "That was fun."

Kanan raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna hear that as sarcasm."

"Are we not going to talk about the busted speeder?" Hera put her hands on her hips.

Kanan waved a hand dismissively. "I found a new one."

"You _bought_ a new one, with _my_ hard-earned credits," she said.

"Oh, they're _your_ credits now," he raised his eyebrows. "I suppose it was your speeder that crashed, too."

Hera faltered. "That speeder was rightfully mine," she said.

"Rightfully stolen," Kanan snorted.

"Hey, it doesn't count if it's from the Empire," she said.

"Can't argue with that," Zeb raised his glass.

"So, everything that Ezra stole from us, when he first joined…" Sabine interjected.

"Oh, yeah, that was all stolen," Zeb said.

"I'm sorry, is it rag-on-Ezra day?" Ezra cut in.

"You're the newest member. Every day is rag-on-Ezra day, until we get some fresh meat," Sabine replied.

"Fresh meat? I've been here for three years," Ezra exclaimed. "What about Hobby, or Wedge? What about Kallus?"

"Meh. Kallus is almost _too_ easy," Sabine said. "I mean, have you seen his mutton chops lately?"

"Those things are the stuff of legend," Kanan said. He looked up at Hera. "Hey, what if I—"

"No," she said.

"I don't know, Kanan, I don't think mutton chops would be the best _cut_ of meat for you," Ezra shook his head.

"Yeah, the _steaks_ for changing your facial hair are way too high," Sabine added with a grin.

"Besides, you wouldn't want to _butcher_ it," Zeb snickered.

"It's pretty _rare_ to see mutton chops _well-done,"_ Sabine said.

"Stop." Kanan rolled his eyes.

"You'd have to _trim a lot of fat_ to pull it off," Ezra said.

"I'm gonna assume that was a poorly-constructed pun and not a fat joke," Kanan said.

"Sure," Ezra shrugged.

Sabine turned to him, grinning mischievously. "Ezra, why don't you grow a beard?"

Ezra shifted in his seat. "I, um, don't want one."

"Really? Shame. I love a man with a little scruff," she sighed.

"Wait, really?" He perked up.

"No," Sabine rolled her eyes. "Beards are awful."

"They are a little scratchy," Hera agreed, shifting her eyes toward Kanan.

"What? I thought you liked it!"

She hesitated. "I don't _dislike_ it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were just so proud of it—"

"Hera," he groaned.

"Plus it kept some of the hair out of the fresher," she added, stifling a laugh. Kanan facepalmed.

"Wait, you would choose a scratchy beard over cleaning hair out of the fresher?" Sabine's eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"His hair has clogged my fresher for far too long," Hera said, pointing at Kanan. "Of course, the beard doesn't make much difference, given the hair is _still there—"_

"It always comes back to the hair in the fresher for you, doesn't it?" Kanan huffed.

"Well, until the hair stops clogging the shower drain, yes, it does," she said. "We only have one fresher, you know."

"You know what, you're right." Kanan leaned in toward the table. "Let's address the real problem. Why does a ship with four cabins only have one fresher?"

Hera facepalmed. "Not this again—"

"No no no, hear me out," he lifted a palm. "The _Ghost_ currently holds five people. And has four bunks, so technically, it could hold up to seven people."

"Wait, seven people?" Ezra asked. "Why not eight?"

"The captain's cabin doesn't have a second bunk," Kanan said.

"And how do you know that, Kanan?" Sabine raised an eyebrow.

"Moving on!" Kanan said. "Up to seven people. _One fresher._ Now, is it just me, or does that math not add up?"

"Especially since sharing with a lasat is like sharing with three other people," Ezra grumbled.

"Thank you," Zeb said.

"Not a compliment."

"Oh, I know, but I'm taking it as one."

Ezra turned to Sabine. "Remember the morning after Kanan fed us spicy fried nerf?"

"Ugh, the ship had never smelled so bad." She made a face. "And we were trapped in an eight-hour hyperspace jump!"

"Exactly." Kanan gestured. "Hera, I think it's time for some remodeling."

She snorted. "That's cute."

"Nothing major, just an extra refresher or two—"

"Two?" Her eyebrows flew up. "Keep talking and soon there will only be four people sharing this ship."

"Now now darling, let's not quibble. Our family's expanded, it only makes sense that the _Ghost_ does, too." Kanan had a wide grin on his face; he was clearly enjoying every minute of this.

"Oh, it's _our_ ship now, is it?" Hera raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we all live here, don't we? I think we should get at least part of a say," he said.

"Alright, you each have a quarter of a say, to my one say. How's that?" She smiled sweetly.

"Well, you have to admire the quick math skills," Sabine murmured to Ezra.

"How much is a quarter, again?" he whispered back.

"Oh, honey. Education wasn't a priority on Lothal, huh?"

"Well, fractions weren't exactly a priority when I was _living on the streets_ ," he said.

"Seconded," Kanan said.

"Thirded," Zeb added. Hera and Sabine exchanged a look, which Kanan caught.

"Well, sorry we can't all be math whizzes," he waved his hands at them, "but while some of the more privileged among us were off getting their fancy educations, others were trying to survive," he said.

"Kanan, you lived in the Jedi temple until you were fourteen," Hera rolled her eyes. "You ate caviar for breakfast."

"Which was why my adjustment to life on the streets was so hard!"

Ezra snorted. Sabine gave Hera a mischievous look.

"Is that also why you never learned to clean out a fresher drain?" she asked. Hera covered her mouth with one palm to stifle a laugh, and gave Sabine a high-five with the other.

"Always about the fresher drain!" Kanan threw his hands in the air. "I am blind, you know."

"Oh, that stopped being an excuse when you guided me through that cloud cover in the Jalindi system," Hera rolled her eyes.

"You know what, why don't I just go clean it right now?" Kanan got out of his seat. "Would that make you happy?"

"Yes," Hera exclaimed.

"Fine," he said.

"Good," she said.

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Ugh," Zeb groaned. "Would you two lovebirds get a room?"

"Not a bad idea, Zeb." There was a wicked gleam in Kanan's eye. "Hera, feel like helping me in the fresher?"

"Ew!"

"Ugh, gross!"

Ezra and Sabine shuddered with nausea, and Zeb watched them, chuckling.

"You two should have been here when they first started admitting they were into each other. I couldn't leave them alone for two seconds without—"

"Ugh, _please_ don't finish that story," Sabine held up a hand, and Ezra pretended to gag. Zeb only laughed harder, and Hera turned to Kanan, her eyes warm.

"You know, love, maybe cleaning the fresher can wait," she said.

He gasped theatrically. "Can I get that in writing?"

She rolled her eyes affectionately at him, and he chuckled, re-taking his seat. Hera sat down beside him and nestled into his side, and took a moment to thank the Force for their family.


End file.
